214. Theresa R.

Only two can call her Mother Theresa. She is the most caring, compassionate, loving, gentle soul I have known likened to the famous missionary. She cries for hurting strangers. She reaches out to anyone she can. I am blessed to know her.

213. Rainey

On a work visa from Indonesia. The strong accent made her impossible for most to understand. For whatever reason I could decipher her broken English. During a game of scategories, Letter-T, Category–Things found on a lawn, she blurted out “A TV”!

212. Mr. Daniels (10th & 11th Grade English)

Suspected to be a total pothead. Driving a VWBeetle and spending an entire class discussing the best way to rid your house of a wasp nest. Still, because of you, I read The Great Gatsby and fell in love with the story!

211. Laney

A petite woman. You came to my house as my brother’s date. Prepared a fantastic feast of culinary delights for us. The next morning I was informed were only a stop on your way to a place to help you overcome anorexia.

210. George

The other outcast in the family we married into. Loved us but never understood us. We were allies. I left the family through divorce. Still married, you left in a different way. We continue meet on the outskirts of the property line.

209. Darnell

“We love you because you’re not datable.” Explaining the reasons I am still single. Too independent. Too many “guy” friends. The yelling started when he said something about my big mouth. The violence ensued after he asked if my daughter was available.

208. Dan

NO! Not now! Dan wouldn’t listen. Had to throw that egg. We ran for what seemed like hours in those woods. That cop was pissed and relentless. “Egging a police car on hell night. Smart move, asshole.” That’s why I love him!

(Some people you just cannot describe in a limited amount of words. I could write books about my adventures with Dan. Things like me duct taping my own mouth at his wedding and leaving another friends wedding on motorcycles in suit and gown and explaining the bullet holes in his EX-girlfriends car and on and on)

207. Robin Church

A Life cut short makes one really question everything in the universe. A car out of control meant you would never see your 18th birthday. Sitting day and night with your mother in that cold sterile hospital, waiting-hoping-praying. All to no avail.

206. Teala

One little accident proving you can can-open a car and you refused to drive with me without my full-face-motorcycle-helmet on. “Wonder Twin Powers Activate! Bartenders Unite!” We were the shit at the end of the night! Of course everyone else was drunk.

205. Yvonne from Beefsteak Charlies

You asked me to take the table after they called you Kyke. Ignorance isn’t bliss it’s ignorance and unacceptable. I wanted to spit in their food. You wouldn’t let me lower myself. You taught me to be a strong server and tolerant.

(I enjoyed explaining to that family of four it may sound like a German-word but Kyke or Kike was actually a slur used against Jews not Germans.)

204. General, aka Jon

“Did I ever tell you that you are my favorite Conference Services Manager?” Yes I did. Just about every day. (not just when I needed something) Thank you for your support and almost losing your job when I was “let go”. You knew what team work was about.

203. John Freed

Stepping in to fill your shoes was tough. You, the engineer with all the computer knowledge. Me, the one who bull-shitted my way through the interview. You shared secrets with me helping me to succeed. You were genuinely happy when I did.

202. Matt (Green Mountain Boy)

July 4th, 2002 contained more fireworks than we were prepared for. Friends for years, playmates only once. You called once you settled in Woodstock. We never spoke again. I told you I never wanted to be anyone’s regret. You promised I wasn’t.

201. Jack

Considered the only stable one in the family, reminding me we are only related by marriage. I couldn’t have more admiration and love for him if we were in fact genetically linked. A humble hero. A true soul. He really IS perfect! (I don’t care how many tissues he leaves in the laundry)

200. My Kitchen Table

It doesn’t inhale oxygen. It does inhale sorrow-woes-grief-pain-joy-happiness-love. It doesn’t exhale carbon dioxide. It does exhale support-reason-advice-tears-laughter-love-life. Everything happens sitting-standing-argueing-debating-discussing-kneeling-weeping-laughing-sharing-praying around that table. The shape-size-color-location may have changed but that piece of furniture will always be a huge part of my world.

(Someone asked my if I could be any piece of furniture, what would I be? The answer has never changed. My Kitchen Table. Sorry for my absence. I have gotten so far behind. Fortunately, life happens. Unfortunately sometimes writing takes a back seat. I am hoping to get caught up... In life and writing)

199. Feather

A troubled kid turned beautiful woman raising a family of her own. Came to live with us as a child. Left a beloved mature daughter. Now, going through personal adversity. My hope is that she always remembers I am here for her.

198. Eleanor

My mom’s friend. Beautiful, funny, colorful and a little naïve for a woman in her late 40’s. She was there to hold my mother’s hand whenever I couldn’t be. I do not recall a time in her presence I didn’t laugh hysterically.

197. Dr. Jackie

Those cigarettes are gonna kill you. ‘Nough said about that. Now let’s talk about your diet, lack of exercise and all around general health. Is there anything you do that’s actually “good” for your body? Well at least you don’t do drugs.

196. Mr. Bell

High-School-Substitute-Teacher, back-up career in the automotive-department of a chain-store. Explained to 5-truant kids that changing the oil wouldn’t fix what ailed the brokedown car. “Are you sure you have gas?” Then lent us money for gas to get home. Damn Broken Gas-Gauge!

195. Donnie

With such vast experience in areas of the heart, I knew I loved you. Definitely Richie Cunningham-ish with a deviant side. If you didn’t love her, I would have loved you forever. Or at least another week. Sometimes being 14 can suck!

194. Bobby and David

A plethora of color, Bobby and David are as vivid as the bouquets they piece together. Their arrangements are like no others, as is their love for life, their sheepdogs and each other. Their friendship is more precious a gift than WildOrchids.

189. - 193. The Farm (Part 2)

189. Big Kenny – Rough farm-boy and big teddy-bear. He was always making you laugh with his antics. All the fun and games never hindered his desire to care for and protect his family. Reminder - If you’re under 18 DO NOT ENTER THE TROPHEY ROOM!

190. Tina – Ruled her kingdom with a loud voice and a big stick. I suppose you must when raising 10kids. She still exposed her soft-side regularly, especially to me. Warned me never to join her kids in the annual burning of the town out-house. (Yes, there was an outhouse in the center of town, which consisted of a post office and a pay phone at the “Y” in the road. The outhouse was on an island in the road. The kids burnt it every year before Halloween and the locals rebuilt it. After all it was for the comfort of the few who took a wrong turn and accidentally ended up in there.)

191. David – Same age as me and as willing to find trouble. Not as attractive or charming as his older brothers causing him to put forth more effort to gain recognition. Once through his rebellious youth, he took a much straighter path into adulthood.

192. Tracy – When we met she was still in diapers. I, just out of them. We spent years perfecting the imagine we felt was appropriate for our shared name. For a couple years we even spelt it the same. We’re Traci with an “I”.

193. Christopher, Todd and Jed – In a family so large standing out was not an easy task. As fun as they were to run through fields, climb trees and hunt with they seemed to be one united soul. I’m sure they have since found their individual spirits.

183. - 188. The Farm

183. The Farm - “What a great way to raise kids?” my stepfather commented while relaxing under the Maine sun on the working-farm owned by his cousin. Mom agreed. Adults leave for dinner, 10kids uncover shopping-bags of pot to be sorted, dried and bagged for sale.

184. Bruce - I felt so cool. You were the first drug dealer I ever met! More impressed years later when you straightened your life out. We lost touch over years but I pray you are still the happily married family man I last knew.

185. Jamie - I knew you and I could be a match made in Heaven. Even after you married and became a wife-beater. I hoped for the opportunity to change you. Opportunity never came. I’m glad I chose to believe in SantaClaus instead of you. (Not that I had a chance anyway he liked my sister!)

186. Michelle - Loud and crass. Making noise to get attention. It didn’t surprise anyone when you joined the military. But oh the gossip when it was learned you married a black man. Your wedding day, now 20 years past, is still a hot topic.

187. Theresa - A flower among weeds. So out of place on that farm with family (which included 9 siblings) and the strays (persons and animals) that your Mormon-parents took in. Such contrast. Shy and subtle among the hard, callous backdrop of farm-life. Try-as-you-may to blend, your differences made you more noticeable.

188. Little Kenny - An infant when I started spending summers with your family. I watched you evolve into a pesky-diaper-wearing rug rat to a fun-loving teenager to a responsible-caring young man. The only person I know that started filling deer-tags at the age of 2!

*I spent many a summer vacation, holiday and hunting season at "The Farm". Many lessons in life were learned teaching ducks to fly and walking barefoot through cow fields. The physical farm was sold years ago when it's proprietor built his log cabin in the woods and decided to retire. The spirit of The Farm lives on*

182. Toots aka Rebekah

Like magnetic-poetry on the refrigerator, her messages are ever changing and inspiring. Stubborn-quicktempered-moody-pragmatic-unltraistic-dramatic-beautiful-intelligent-trustworthy-loyal-hardworking-responsible-funloving-talentedwriter-fabuloussinger-dedicated-MyHero. This doesn’t even scratch the surface. Draws out things that make me want to be better. (at everything) Destined to be a Modern-Day-Pirate. Knows the difference between pirates, buccaneers and privateers!

181. Beth G.

To obtain credibility (as a pre-teen) I wanted to be your friend. With all of your credentials your popularity was because you were just plain-old-nice. It would’ve been easier if I figured out the “nice” approach as opposed to following you around like a kitten.

180. Mr. Petrianni

To me you were a sadistic bastard. Even if it was my own transgressions that put me in your charge. The punishment didn’t seem to fit the crime. Who the hell says “I want to be an in-school-suspension-monitor when I grow up?” (Decades later I must admit, you weren’t that mean)

179. Kathy from Erie

It HAS Vodka in it! As drunk as she got from that straight- orange-juice her 14year-old body consumed, she never got sick. Unbelievable-stories caused us to attempt teaching lessons. None of us had heart enough to tell her once it was over.

178. Julie C.

People aren’t meant to be monogamous, her argument for staying single. She had many “male friends”. None that could contain her wild-spirit. We came from similar worlds to live our lives out very differently only to end up in the same place.

177. Sandy from Belmont

My hair is falling out! Repeatedly my boss proclaimed. She had more hair than any person I’d known. Long-beautiful-full-dark-hair. Her mane was her husbands pride and joy during their decades of marriage. When he left her she felt her hair did too.

176. Stalker Dave, Tight-pants Dave, Crazy Dave

The nicknames seem appropriate to anyone in his company for minutes. He stalks bartenders and waitresses. Not for sex or the like but for someone to remember his name. Someone to proves he exists. That gives my existence one more important purpose.

175. Bob E.

One man talking the same things over-and-over. Trains, fires, school, police-matters or how he made your world better by a meeting he attended or some selfless act. Most has no bearing on your life; still you politely nod and thank him anyway.

174. Lara and Steve

Zany and fun. I rarely see one without the other. Together they have a gift of offering self-worth to those who believe none exists. Hippies-by-night–Teachers-by-day. They, my friends, are the future of our children. Don’t fret, it could be much worse!

173. The Marketing Genius

There’s little difference between slut and tease. Neither is a good title to hold. Both use the attention of another to fulfill one’s own needs. Whether physical or emotional. Both can cause a person to be dishonest, within more than with others.

172. Doreen

Known by her staff as “Dragon-Lady”. Not meant as a compliment, she takes it as one. Using fear to rule her minions. She does have a tender side. I know. I have seen it. But then again I never worked for her.

171. Eric C.

“Why do you call him Heric?” my future father-in-law was asked. His quick response, “Better than calling him cluckhead”. Eric was quiet and eccentric and our friend. After the graduation parties were memories he became one only visited in photo-albums and yearbooks.

170. Toni

Walking quickly into the office, hoping no one notices the always-noticeable ready-to-explode-McDonald’s-bag. Forever dieting. Forever failing. A beautiful, intelligent woman inside and out to all who know her except herself. Fooling herself into believing she is fooling others. Food is not success.

169. Carolina (Pronounced CarolEEna)

“Take me someplace I can’t see in CostaRica.” Off to Yankee Candle then to see strippers in a bar. Rocking the car singing and dancing while driving and listening to RickyMartin. He can be her 1st-husband because everyone knows SeanConnery is mine!

168. Mark, My mom's last nurse

Showing me signs of death, breathing life into the cold-sterile-room. Together we watched Lauren Becall glide across the screen, knowing your wife would be sitting in my chair soon holding the hand of her father. You got me through those last hours.

167. Bookstore Associate

A gift left for me at the NorthshireBookstore by a friend. The gentleman who presented it watched me carefully, aware that I might be surprised. “No, you cannot refuse it”, the associate instructed me. "Your friend obviously wants you to have this".

This time of year the reminders of how blessed I am seem so much more prevalent. I hope everyone else is as fortunate as I. I also hope this holiday season finds others full of more joy than they believe they can handle.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Happy Friday... Whichever holiday you acknowledge I hope it is the best for you!

166. Nina

Fire-engine-red-station-wagon flying anywhere required with the tools of bribery loaded in the back. Aiding when we needed things of monetary value. Stopping along the way to play numbers you dreamt of the night before. From you, I learned money is not love.

165. Lee from Mulligan's

Heart of Gold is an understatement. A non-drinker among the town drunks, he cares for the customers as a gardener cares for the herbs at first-frost. Last night, without word to me, he bought my dinner in celebration of the day.

164. Bill Rudkin

Talks of duck-hunting lead to my freezer housing almost a dozen Mallards. After his friend of many years passed away, he often eats alone at the bar. Cautious to save enough to please his Black-Lab, Gypsy waiting eagerly in the car.

163. Syd the Kyd

Very dear friend. 73years-young. Told me of her recent short stay in the hospital. Made the decision to quit her job because it was causing stress. Of course the Dewars-n-water we were sharing while smoking can only promote low stress levels.

162. Christa Jones (Al's daughter)

Promise, hope and all the good things little girls own were Christa. Fun, bubbly, happy and loving. At 16, she was so caring she refused to allow her scared friend to commit suicide alone. A family of four broken to three.

161. Adam Jones (Al's son)

The most unruly-destructive kid I ever babysat. Only charge I considered drugging to insure a decent bedtime. Feared for his future. Expected mass-destruction, found a mild, caring, successful man. The one who held the family together in the midst of tragedy.

160. Kathy Jones (Al's wife)

Intrigued by the English-Accent. Wondered what life was like growing up in another country. She appeared cautiously distant. In her eyes everything had a visible price-tag placed prominently for public view. Nothing cost as much as the death of her youngest.

159. Al Jones

When I met Mr. Jones I had never seen a taller man. I was 10yrs, he seemed 10ft. My stepfather’s colleague, our family friend. In my adult years I realized Al’s 6’4” frame contained a 10’ tall strong but gentle spirit.

158. Mildred (a.k.a. Patsy a.k.a. Ma)

The most un-intrusive mother-n-law to walk the planet. Wisdom comes quietly. Love sings the same notes as sounds of laughter. Never giving up on me when I gave up on him. A mother’s love isn’t only spent on her own children.

157. Julee

A seemingly-successful woman, single-mom and my boss. Using another’s opinions and credit you didn’t earn, you were able to climb the corporate ladder. You never felt safe. A woman with such low self-esteem that even I was viewed as a threat. (Professionally and Personally)

156. Johnnie D.

You said you have times feeling sorry for yourself. Then you are reminded others have it worse. Causing you to be happy with what you do have. Just a sweet young man. Too young for me. But not for my daughter!

155. George B.

Photographer viewing the world through an unprejudiced lens. Your personal snapshots known in “Small-Town-USA”. Aware everyone knows. Yet, too sweet a man to mention such pain. Too sweet a man to have to bear it. Would you like a Guinness now?

154. Lil Rog #1

“Mary Hill used to hang out in Cherry Hill Park” penetrates my mind whenever I think of you. Like a broken record. Over and Over and Over. Not the family favorite. But the one who proved to be the most genuine.

153. L.T. (conversation with the bartender)

L.T.: “Can I ask something?”

Me: “Course”

L.T.: “Words of wisdom you give someone you know little about.”

Me: “Happiness is a choice.”

L.T.: “That’s very Buddhist.”

Me: “No, just honest”

Sold the house, auction coming up, she’s moving away. She misses him too much to stay.

152. Jessica G.

Lying, cheating, stealing, denying it all. Low self-esteem can lead to a life of crime and sentence one to eternity seeking approval that’s always just out of reach. Tough-girl facades can mask scared-girl cries. Not a criminal but still a prisoner.

151. Jamesie

We met on the job. Didn’t take long to become allies. Thought he had a crush on me but it was really Janet he liked. Now we visit each other only via the Internet. That doesn’t make me like him less.

150. Ryan M.

Drumming your way through ADD and high school into Berklee College of Music and into the hearts of all who you crossed paths with. A human spirit truer than the truth itself. The music is not the only beauty you emanate.

149. Laura

Crumbled cellophane, empty cigarette packs, over flowing ashtrays, playing cards strewn on the table, a couple diet sodas and you have what’s needed to learn what matters. Bonds that can only be formed over a game of pitch. I bid three.

148. Shelby

I won’t be sad if my son says he loves you. You stayed with him until I could. You started the chain that brought me to him when he was hurt. When the stitches are gone I really hope you aren’t.

147. Mark G.

I heard you say “mini-me” before Austin Powers. Asking if I would love a pocket version of you. You filled the loneliness for the moment not the future. Thought to myself, how conceited. I felt I had only known the mini-you.

146. Mark F.

Last night you came to me in a dream. I awoke wishing I could see you. Saddened about the ease with which we let people go out of our lives. I miss you. How do I get to Social Circle, Georgia?

145. Dave

Truly believes in God’s gift to women and he is it. He is one who thinks that. Tells stories that cannot be verified. Has been seen out with one woman for over a year now. She is more obnoxious than he.

144. Debbie

We first met in a universe of happy families and watching kids-watching kittens. We met again after faded innocence and divorces were final. Started a friendship over weekly breakfasts. Diagnosis cancer and I left determined to not see that devastation again.

143. Planet

Whether fishing (her first love) or traveling around looking for hidden treasures, Planet brought me into a world where the tiniest of trinkets resemble the secret contents of Davy Jones Locker. By land and sea we have discovered an energetic friendship.

Do you want to learn more about one of our adventures in Geocaching

142. Cathy

I wanted someone to play with. Who didn’t matter. You wouldn’t have visitors while the Flintstones were on. In my desperation, I told you that was something only a goulie-faced-boogarhead would do. Was I the only 9year-old afraid to play alone?

141. Dan Tyminski

There are rules. No last names or fame with your ass planted on a barstool. Stardom comes late night with stories relived and counting of my booty. “Know who that was?” “Yeah, Dan. Friendly, tips well and drinks soda. So what?”

140. B Kiddo

Acceptance is the elusive treasure. Truths are only seen through witty lines and barroom banter. Or an occasional kiss. What gets hidden is a small girl with an enormous heart learning the art of loving herself. Being graded on the curve.

139. Warren (Becki's Friend)

At first you only called me Becki’s-Mom, years later coming to my rescue when that damned-old-box-spring wouldn’t go upstairs to my new place. All the while loading HankWilliams,Jr. songs on my computer. Great feeling knowing your kids friends are such good-people.

138. Becca

Books, books and more books. Using written word for oxygen. Inhaling authors and ideas. Exhaling variations of their dreams. She flies on dictionary wings, drawing her life’s map with the ink of others. Dedicated to finding her way via random house.

137. Sal

Lessons learned first-hand about the devastation of spirit through chemicals. Transformed to an organic life. A hopeful life. One night. One relapse. His lifeless body hung for 14 hours before anyone noticed hope was gone. Another lesson forgotten. Another soul lost.

136. The nonobnoxious Red Sox Fan

I admire a person who stands by their beliefs however badly or often they are battered over them. How, with such strong-will, can even that person be goaded into aggression by an overzealous fan? Can’t we play nice in the sandbox?

135. Greg aka Ed in the white t-shirt

Thrown into someone else’s drama without warning. Unsure if my attraction was to you or your protective qualities. You invited me out when I was done working. Proceeded to spend the rest of my shift with someone else. Exit stage left.

134. The Oxygen Dealer

Handing us 3D-glasses, he raved we would never see a show more beautiful. The kaleidoscope that unfolded as we sat on a deck overlooking the lake was indescribable. Firework finale over. He returned to his colored cylinders, selling rejuvenation at $1.00/minute.

133. Kristen

You drink yourself into oblivion, cling to your new-best-girlfriend (the one you just met five minutes earlier) and go home with any man who will have you. All the while talking about some boyfriend who left you while you weren’t looking. Do you know why they always leave you?

132. Jon Katz

Friend, author, Yankees-fan. You look to me for optimistic baseball-rants. It ain’t over until the last pitch! I look to you for writing advice and those questions that make me wonder. Do dogs have souls? How can I prove they do?

131. PB Stones

Online-dating is not for me, I discovered after meeting you. A flower arrangement worthy of decorating a gravesite was a sure-sign. 2hours listening to talk about you was boring at best. Still in-love with your ex-wife, you discovered after meeting me.

130. Barf

It’s all fun and games until somebody gets sick. Then it’s a nickname that torments you into eternity. The embarrassment of earning that title didn’t keep her from being liked by everyone. It took much effort to remember her real name.

129. Rahual MY Cabana Boy

Anyone can call him Rahual. Only one can call him cabana-boy. Energy and alcohol flow from his fingertips like lightening as he launches conversations about final-scores, batting-averages and the middle east. Happily married with children and two jobs. Oh the American-Dream.

128. Porter

A true gentlemen. He liked dining alone. I believe he would pretend his beloved-wife was once again sitting across from him. Longing to be with her again and now he is. I am left tearing up straining manhattans into chilled glasses.

127. Ferme

Leaving family and country to create a better life. 4years away from wife and children can cause loneliness. Believing hard-work erases any indiscretions human desires lead to. Does absence make the heart grow fonder? Or is it outta sight, outta mind?

126. Lori

Her heart would stop if she did. Always moving, busy. First impressions might cause one to surmise the lights are on but (you know the rest)… The opposite is truth. She knows something few others do. Happiness doesn’t require a degree, though she possesses one.

125. One who deals gasoline, cigarettes and conjecture

Creating sad lives for strangers as they fuel-up with gasoline and coffee. She must be terribly unhappy with herself to so freely offer her dark-assumptions free of charge to the next in line. Then I wonder… Am I really any different?

124. Jillian

Surprisingly, scrawny anorexic looking people can be tough too. They can also over power the not so scrawny anorexic looking people. A lesson I learned thoroughly in the fifth grade. Jillian was the ever willing teacher. I was the reluctant student.

123. Sean

Sean is the kind of person that draws sympathy out of the most cynical of souls without effort. He always appears so unhappy. The average observer would think it must be a tremendous amount of work to find fault in everything.

Sorry for my absence. I am currently not online at home. I will try to keep up on borrowed computers with borrowed time! ;-)

122. Alice

All of your parents hugs, kisses and involvement doesn’t prevent your need to attract attention. How sad to witness such low self-esteem in youth. Confusing is that you use others acts of rebellion to illustrate your personal significance, never your own.

121. Carol but you can call her Kate

She walks in and all heads turn. Is it the Oilskin-Outback Coat? Cowboy hat? Or the athletically-fit body concealing a 47year-old? Friendly, bubbly, outspoken. Everyone likes her whether they agree with her or not. Trades her opinions for beers and cigarettes.

120. Dan

The scene plays the same every time. Starts with a hug. Jamesons on the rocks. Two swigs from his drink. Asks, “What’s up with the Yankees?” Ends with the decision that the world’s conflicts could be solved on a baseball diamond.

119. Future Ex-Husband #12

Quiet, friendly, attractive, single. A gentleman. Bares some resemblance to Matthew McConaughey (Future ex-husband #3). He is rarely in town, which I find very attractive in a man. Listens intently when I talk. Remembers our conversations. I suspect he is gay.

118. Antonella

Laughed, cried and got fired with me! Thank God we were able to explain eating the Boss’ imported digestives. I always “felt the love” when she was around. Screwing up American sayings at every opportunity. My favorite Italian “Jerk-Ass”. Ciao Bella.

117. Mary

Her father died when she was 10. My step-father became hers shortly after. I fear for her future. Trying to live up to his unrealistic expectations can destroy a soul. I know because I barely got out with my own intact.

116. Tom

Attractive man. Talented chef. Nice guy. Funny. Single. All the things I look for in a “Future Ex-Husband”. Never pursued him. Enjoyed our friendship. Knew I couldn’t, in good conscience, drain every last bit of life from him by dating him.

115. Metro Brian

No meal presented is ever good enough. Promised to return for drinks. Vowed to never order food again. His next visit was complete with Filet-Mignon. I often wondered if he dines alone because he is equally as critical of his lovers?

114. Mom

Listening to your labored breathing, reliving every memory of you. Listening to your last breath, fearing I might forget even one memory of you. Knowing then I would never again celebrate Mother’s Day. Fearing then I would never again want to.

*No writer, however talented or inspired, could ever put into words what my mom and I had together. I will not even try.*

113. Michael Arthur aka Emotional Suicide

You are every love song never written. Every dream never fulfilled. You are every unanswered prayer. Then I met you and it all made sense. You are my salvation. You showed me how to love without you. You never really existed.

112. Jacob Micheal

My skateboarder in the kitchen, my never turns lights off, my loser of inanimate objects, my eats everything in the house, my gambler, my greatest fear, my protector, my great debater, my favorite comedian, my favorite back massager, my gigantic heart, my sensitive soul, my baby, my love, my son. No words could truly describe what you are to me!

*I have upgraded my number of words today. In honor of my son's birthday I have combined our ages. For 19 years we have been incredibly connected. Happy Birthday, Jake! I love you!*

111. Dawn from Long Island

"Turn the music off so I can see this?” you said while I checked if I peed myself after listening to your stories. What made them funny made them heart-breaking. Had I ever known you sober, we could have been friends.

110. Bob and Pat

Irreconcilable differences. It’s like we’re getting divorced. The fact is I am just moving out after years of renting from you. The house is falling apart. Nothing is getting fixed. Still, you have been the nicest landlords I have ever had.

109. Tracy the stripper

You came to my house full of pride about your annual income. After a debate about morals and self-respect with a 12year old, you left. Still proud of the money you make. Maybe not-so-quick to tell kids how you make it.

108. The Cookoos Nest Bartender

Didn’t even look old enough to buy cigarettes but listened intently to our conversation about physically abusive lovers, terrible lovers, past lovers and future lovers. Chuckled when we confessed how happy we both are with our current status of individual singledom.

107. Margie

The kindest, friendliest, just darn nicest person I never met. Exchanging notes as to why my eye-soar of a car sat lifeless in her driveway for days, I’m reminded God puts angles on earth. I keep running into them, or not.

106. Al

It was magic for a while. Emotionally, needs outside the bed scared me. *POOF* I vanished. My infamous magic trick. Physically, we ruled the universe. I would’ve loved you forever if we both weren’t searching for the same thing. A mother.

105. Bill N.

My first love and it wasn’t you. One kiss I can no longer remember if we wanted or actually exchanged. High school chums destined to lose site of each other soon after. You were the first time I thought about leaving.

104. Bekka

Always dressed in black. Yet a brilliant rainbow inside. I love spending time listening to her. A fireball of endless possibility. The passion of youth thrown into a tornado of choices. I pray she uses the wind to catapult her forward.

103. Patty

Talk of school budgets, spiritual beliefs and suicide made us realize how similar we are. You the teacher, me the flunky. I suppose suicide doesn’t require a decent education. Just loved ones left alive to sweep up the chards of glass.

102. Jesse

Jesse’s girlfriend looks 15years older but they are similar in age. He played guitar and sang for me for the first time recently. “You can’t always get what you want” took on a new meaning. “But you get what you need”!

101. "J"

29year old hard body. Single because scheduling doesn’t allow for true romance. Can’t figure out why he wants me to fill the void when he is in town. Is he attracted to me OR does he believe I’m a desperate ex-housewife?

100. Mary Jane

Mom’s older sister. Regular visitor to our house. Until she displayed inappropriate behavior one night. Years later questioned why mom had such issue with her. Couldn’t understand that some things are not forgettable. I hope, by now, she found her peace.

99. Two writers sitting in a bar

Sound like a joke? Two novelists came to Vermont for a quiet place to write. Instead they got a comedy-show free-for-all in a local bar. They will definitely be back. What material they were given over a couple pints of ale.

98. Beat Shit

Often wondered reasoning for the nickname. Last night I learned you always got the bajeebas beat out of you. I discovered why after carrying your almost comatose body to the car. You are the one offering the beatings. Alcohol can bruise.

97. Mr. Bloom

This was our second "chance" meeting. Pulitzer Prize nominee, writer, brain surgeon, musician. You told the most interesting stories about the world we live in and what you have done with your 80years. Thank you for playing your viola for me.

96. Pecor

Talented guitar player. Reminds me of Eyore of Winnie the Pooh fame. I often wondered what he would be like if he really got excited or if he could. One of my favorites of my kids friends. Just a sweet guy.

95. Kayla

Always has the volume on high. A kaleidoscope, colorful and ever changing. A wonderful young woman exploring the universe. I imagine, in time, she will slow down enough to let the blur form an intricate painting. She does give good hair.

94. Geno

“What’d ya mean ya don’t drink alcohol? You realize you hang out in a bar? My bar! Tonight you drink! Barkeep, get this girl a shot!” Thank God the bartender knew to pour me a shot of ginger-ale. Shoot, slam, aahh…

93. Tony

He, the cook and I, the waitress. Worked together for years. Played together after-hours. Always platonically. He once asked if he could do something he had always wanted to do. It never happened again. That kiss changed nothing, except my memory.

92. Red Cross Nurse #2

Is being a blood-sucking-vampire a prerequisite to obtaining employment with the American Red Cross? The sweetest lady but always the first to slap my veins every time I met my mom for lunch. I had no choice but to donate faithfully.

*My mom worked there – we didn’t meet there for lunch.*

*We were NOT the blood-sucking-vampires*

91. Sheba

Protector, confidant, play-mate, best-friend. One who knew when I needed hugs and how to give them. Cried with me when my mom died. Slept with me for 16 years. Understood me like no other, still loved me. My 90lb, three-legged, lap-warmer.

*I don't care what anyone says she was a "real" person!*

90. Wayne

As your friend’s mom, I can see the good kid inside. Thank you for respect I received after the fight broke out and I proved, in your defense, I have a Louisville-Slugger and know how to use it! Wood or aluminum?

89. My "favorite" Matt

The first thing you said to me was, “Can I jump off your roof on my snowboard?” Of course I said yes. My daughter’s boyfriend-Matt hated that I always called you (his friend) my favorite Matt. It wasn’t a lie. COWBUNGA!

88. Dr. Robert Wuagneux

“No-one wants to hear upbeat music anymore. Everything sounds depressing. If that’s the way the world is why aren’t more throwing themselves from rooftops? Damn kids today!” Then he finished his beer and left some of his “happy” cds for review.

87. Diane

Waited tables for lifetimes in one restaurant. We worked and played together. She bartended someplace else. Someplace that taught me never drink tequila and every woman can be an island gardenia. Restaurant people are a very different species from everyone else.

86. Tina and Patty

Sisters to Frank. Patty was older with a baby. Tina idolized Patty. The laws that were broken. How can you do that without feeling bad? I guess they weren’t privy to my good Lutheran upbringing. The life’s lessons I learned then.

85. Brother George

Charismatic, Evangelical, sinner turned saint. You were an expert at flame-sparking in your congregation. Singing, dancing and cheering for Christ. First church I was in with drums behind the podium. I still hear you singing That Rugged Cross with the angels.

84. Pastor Mattae

For years we met every Easter morning at some God forsaken hour. Using powerful and enlightening words you boasted of the resurrection of Christ. I learned so much more watching the way you lived your life then listening to your sermons.

83. Lydia

Looney, zany, all around crazy. Not afraid to speak her mind or moon the band from the crowded dance floor. Laughing, creating energy. Then a glimpse into her deep telling eyes, I realize she feels the same pain we all do.

82. Dana

Your drink spilt. Your pants off. The bar flies didn’t need to know you never wore underwear. Inside the chaos is a caring, compassionate woman who I admire. You’re the one who cares enough to tell me I need a “Mount-n-Dew-Man”.

81. Glen

I loved you for years. Just never had the guts to tell you. You were everything I could have dreamed but you weren’t mine. Then I moved away and changed schools. The first week in 3rd-grade sucked. Then I met Victor.

80. Jason

Colleagues and jokesters. He was Drew Carey, I was Mimi. Never hid the fact we actually liked each other as humans. One night, dressed as Santa and his elf, we crashed a Champagne Tasting ringing bells and handing out stolen candy.

79. Oxygen

When asked what she was on, the only reply was Oxygen. Beautiful, talented and gullible, giving people the impression she is a ditz. Maybe she is but it looks good on her. The baked Mac-n-Cheese is always ready when she visits.

78. LuLu

Who, but us, could take such verbal abuse? You didn’t laugh when I wore the dress and Chuck Taylor’s. I didn’t laugh when your dance partner was a puppet. We both love men who don't know how to love us back.

77. Tammy

We met accidentally. We have been meeting accidentally ever since. Trying to avoid accidents at every turn. We will never be friends. We have no use for each other. What good actresses we’ve become. We both have something the other wants.

76. Kim B.

Dear G,

The wildest thing happened. Was at lunch yesterday, noticed a familiar woman. We graduated together 23years ago in another state. Hadn’t spoken since. What great memories we reminded each other of. It was so way cool!

Love ya,
B

75. Dawn Z.

Junior high neighbor with a schnauzer named Fritz. Choreographing dances to the soundtrack of Saturday Night Fever in our basements was a blast, but we weren’t ever really that close. I chose more adventurous friends. I’ll bet you graduated with honors.

74. Art

Husband to MJ. Expert Fly-Tier and talented writer. Stepped in to be the husband-father they needed. Superman package in a Clark Kent wrapper. All this AND a great sense of humor too! Who else would give me two plastic pink flamingoes?

73. MJ

Paper-pushers extraordinaire! We met on the smoking deck at work. The wonderful friendship we formed filling up on nicotine and gossip. We both moved on, yet still exchange our ever-perfect views of the world. It is hard being so damned F.E.!

72. Gramma (Alice)

“What do you mean you are Polish by injection?” my sister asked. “Don’t you remember the polkas playing in the kitchen? You really ARE Polish!” I remember! Along with BB-Noodle soup, motorized horses and that picture of Jesus on the wall.

71. Grammy

The manger under the Christmas tree, the walks to the co-op, shopping at Remy’s, eating cake. What fabulous memories visiting you in Pemaquid Harbor. More beautiful are those of you playing with my kids years later as you did with me.

70. Gene, my "real" father

We tried to make it work. For us, it didn’t. Not that way. I wished it could have, but then I wouldn’t be able to forgive you for ending it. Suicide is NEVER acceptable. You’re the one who taught me forgiveness.

69. Tooley (first name - Dave)

He says, “I have a first name ya know?” His rough exterior conceals a sweetheart interior that is often caught hibernating. He likes to push people’s buttons as if they are his personal video games. For whatever reason, I like him.

68. Brittany

A superball of wonder, color and energy in a beautiful wrapper. I enjoy her passion in everything. I just wish she could see into my crystalball and learn life’s lessons that can only be learned by experiencing their pain first hand.

67. Rick (The "OTHER" Bartender)

“What can I getcha?” were the first words you spoke to me, not the last. Talking computers, Kill Bill movies, NY Yankees for years. You almost do a good job hiding that you care. Is there REALLY rum in that drink?

66. Sara

It matters to Sara that everyone experiences happiness. Even at the expense of her own. One who apologizes for apologizing. A great friend. I am glad she is mine. So many treasures found sipping from wine glasses at my kitchen table.

65. Red Cross Nurse #1

She said, “Sometimes you have to tell someone it’s alright. Otherwise, they hang on until they feel secure knowing you will survive”. I kept that information to myself for months. My mom passed away 4-hours after I shared it with her.

64. The love of my life for now

When his well meaning father introduced the middle aged, attractive doctor to me I fell in love. Too bad I will never see him again. What a glorious feeling, falling in love is. Who will I fall in love with today?

63. Eric

Anything to be the center of attention. When you were unhappy you called and visited often. Each time bringing friends or an anorexic, even a stripper with you for credibility. I know you are truly happy now because you haven’t visited.

62. Stephen

One date. One kiss. We knew we could have been more but chose not to. Knowing friendship offered far more rewards. We kept in touch until I returned to your hometown. Were you afraid we were looking for different rewards then?

61. Suzanne

In junior high, Suzanne was younger but more mature, secure and self-confident than me. After gaining my own self worth, I ran into her years later noticing she hadn’t changed at all. I had. I was happy for both of us.

60. Moose

You hated being neighbors. Never told us why. You just screamed at kids and called the police. I still have the headline that reads “Local Dog Sentenced to Obedience School”. You learned later you blamed the wrong dog for the barking.

59. Ron

An Elflike and beyond quirky Red Sox Fan. Ron believes everything is a danger. His heart of gold is hard to see through his mountain man facade. He knows everything he knows is fact. He is obsessed with Carla Fay Tucker.

58. Kip

Kip and I trade collectibles. He gives me lunch boxes. I give him unique bottles and books about bottles. He once told me I remind him of his sister, a plain and simple looking woman. I took it as a compliment.

57. Janet Church

I was honored you asked me to sit-in on the meeting with the surgeon because you were too distraught. I cannot express the pain watching you decide which of your daughter’s organs you were willing to give. A mother’s true hell.

56. Victoria

The tallest person I know, though her height conceals it. Strong in conviction. Of high moral content. One flaw, too self-analytical. One of few who would not bail me out of jail because she would be sitting in lock-up beside me!

55. Lesley

A shorter, rounder version of Martha Stewart. Can make any dinner party spectacular. After a couple glasses of wine or beer has a voice that causes pain in the deafest of ears. Tries to be a friend, just doesn’t know how.

54. My sister Christine

On paper you never color outside the lines. In real life you always do. Your creativity and energy is unmatched. The “older sister” I always wanted. The friend I always needed. One who loves me anyway. Being the family freak is a GREAT thing!

Today I am "upgrading" from my 41 words to 44 in honor of Christine's 44th birthday. Even with the extra words I have found this post to be the hardest to limit. Happy Birthday C!

53. Lou

“You make the best Manhattan outside of New York City”, Lou told me on different occasions. She appeared to be so optimistic. How could she survive so many years and then decide to end it on purpose? Appearances can be deceiving.

52. Lisa B.

Young, attractive, single, woman living in Vermont. Should be in some metropolis enjoying all the excitement that dense populations offer. Falls in love with every man who pays her attention. Lowest self esteem of anyone I know. Sex is not love.

51. Darren a.k.a. Sparky

Sparky gets all the funny looks from the grown-ups in town. Assumptions are often made about him that are far from truth. Great imagination, creativity and energy lie under the hood where people only see pierced eyebrows, lips and black eyeliner.

50. Barbie

Thirty-two years up and down the stairs we affectionately call the thigh master. Carrying people’s desires and hopes on a tray. All the time throwing cigarette butts in the fireplace when no one is looking. Don’t forget to “86 mashed potatoes”.

49. Aunt Jaye

The youngest of four sisters. The clown with a big smile and gargantuan heart. Her sisters’ ineffective peacekeeper. Her mother’s gopher. Her daughters “fixer”. Her son’s disciplinarian. She had the good toys. We had fun but somehow she always seemed sad.

48. Lou Ann

Holding my hand while alternating chants, “Breath”, “Push”, “Breath”, “Push”. She moved from hand holding to her forearm under my breasts literally helping to push my baby out. A wonderful nurse. Whether she knew it or not, she found her calling.

47. Theresa B.

She had the exciting life and great hair. Scouted talent for a famous rock band. Managed new bands in spare time. She shared that excitement with me. I never understood why she spent her days selling hope in a convenience store?

46. Kenny B.

Kenny beat me up every day after school. Cannot remember if there was a reason. One day he saw my German Shepard from a distance. He never beat me again. I wonder if he still pushes people’s faces in the snow.

45. Frank #2

Educated, articulate and too literal. Fun to debate with. Speaks only facts as I speak only emotion. He hates when anyone uses the word “but”. Reads the New York Times at the bar, sipping his Manhattan, BUT light on the vermouth.

44. Mary Ellen

I pocketed the knife I was opening computer boxes with. I realized she was paranoid, delusional. My stalker was born. I shouldn’t have left the knife at the door as I exited. A couple months later she escaped from the hospital.

43. Greg

Surrounded by pessimists and atheists, Greg was refreshing. A very competitive salesman and truly dedicated Mormon which seemed an impossible combination. He pulled it off with amazing grace. We met first in a hotel room. That was part of my job.

42. The Princess

Good times, bad times, we are there for each other. Holding each other’s sanity in the midst of motherhood. Me always chanting “Just wait until your kids get here.” A beautiful person with one bad habit. PLEASE MAKE THE WHINING STOP!!!

41. Mrs. B

Come on you can get those knees all the way to the ground! Harder! Try harder! She made us do all the “hard” exercises during acrobatics lessons. She seemed so mean. I could have learned a lot but switched to gymnastics.

40. Sandy

Sandy never judges my actions but tells me her thoughts. There are times I would have never survived without her. Like the day I took 2nd place in the children’s competition of the ceramics show. I was 29. We were proud!

39. The Cowboy

Sneaking into hotel rooms unnoticed. Ours was a fling of the flesh. Though the friendship was justified by hours and hours of talks about life and living Superheroes. We never mixed sex with friendship. He will always be my favorite mistake!

38. Mike C. #2

Only person I knew who slept with his eyes open. Mom was sad when we broke up. I was too young to be tied down, until the next guy came along 2months later. His ape-ish walk didn’t undo his god-like kisses.

37. Mike C. #1

In junior high I thought Mike and I would get married someday. But I remained “the little sister”. I was so proud when he drove me to the Danbury Fair the day we all skipped school. I wonder if he remembers.

36. Big Roger

My father in law since 1980 even though I didn’t marry until 1983. He always treated me like his daughter. We were best at disagreeing and I learned, after serious bruising, never to sit next to him when we watched boxing.

35. Danno

Danno is a Connecticut boy everyone mistakes for a woodchuck and my husband. We drove to Burlington the other day so I could drive a van back for him. As long as I didn’t look in the back I was safe!

34. Big Al Eastman

Al was a very intimidating Vice Principal as he walked the halls. Our first meeting he asked “You do drugs?” my answer “Not anymore”. Liked my honesty, was always fair. He was the reason I graduated. Is your homework really done?

33. Scott

A master falconer, great sense of humor, Scott forged a letter from a restaurant asking that I not return to their establishment. I made him bow before his boss in humble submission. A true friend. Tonight we will dine together again.

32. Sue

Restaurant manager with a heart of “butter”. Soft, meltable and spreadable. Throws herself into the line of fire to protect those around her. Truly cares about family and friends. One of the few genuine people I have met in my life.

31. Talmadge

Sport jackets and collared shirts are part of the reason some people have the perception of him he hates. Talmadge spends much time analyzing others, not enough on himself. Great deep conversationalist with unique ideas. But I’m not the crazy one.

30. Irene

As I became a teenager Irene seemed like a dingbat. In my youngest years she was a sweet old lady who lived above my grandmother. She wore big glasses and walked slow but made the best cookies I have ever had.

29. Melinda

Distraught over not being allowed to chaperone her son’s class trip, Melinda read what the permission slip said, “Chaperones welcome, but no siblings please”. I defined siblings, she was relieved. Then she innocently asked, “do you boil or bake canned tuna?”

28. Gary

Sitting around a basement table, just like on That Seventies Show, we discussed what we wanted to be when we grew up. Gary wanted to be an alcoholic. He is the only one who accomplished his goal. Should he be proud?

27. Mike Z.

The waitress removed our half eaten breakfasts. It was printed in black and white on the place mat. Among 30+ other proverbs we both the saw same one at the same time. It changed our lives forever. “Happiness is a choice”

26. Carrie

As a kid I envied Carrie. Even felt inferior. She deliberately caused those feelings. She had horrible taste in fashion and husbands. Now she feels trapped, unhappy and envies me. We did have a lot fun on all those camping trips.

25. Dawn

My best friend in high school. Met our sweethearts the same day. Married right out of school. Kids, careers and divorces later we drifted apart. I know one phone call and she would be right there. So why haven’t I called?

24. Miss Gerbasi

One teacher that made me feel smart, even when I wasn’t. She was young, pretty and made even social studies interesting. She invited some of us “special” ones to her apartment for pizza. But why punish those not in the play?

23. Aunt Anna

We scared her by jumping out from behind things when she babysat us. I couldn’t figure why she would return for more horrors. Later on I realized we weren’t good at hiding. She was a funny old lady her whole life.

22. Kevin

High school sweetheart. My first everything. Together 20 years yielding two beautiful kids and the best three legged dog. All the love couldn’t save us from each other. A wonderful fairy tale with a horror story ending. Where is Memory Motel?

21. Craig

Craig was always smiling. We shared our optimisms like kids traded baseball cards. My daughter called crying. He was gone. I grieved alone. I knew we would never open that bowling alley together. He once dated a girl named Charlie Brown.

20. Grumps

Your name never fit. You hid the quarters under the plates for me when I cleared the table. You loved me like your own. I loved you like my own. When you said “Take five” all the cartwheels had to stop.

19. Lisa Close

The writing on the wall was loud and clear. Why didn’t I see it earlier. 13 year olds can be blind too. We had fun in Vermont though. Too bad I got caught and punished. Why didn’t my mom like you?

18. Special Ed

My Knight of Cups. Two glorious nights together years apart . Remained friends all the other nights. The one I made love to with my eyes wide open. A cardboard cutout in my life. Champagne and Tequila is a great combination.

17. Brian

Discussing the meaning of life across the bar drinking Sam Adams, then we moved to my kitchen table. How great to find a friend who gets it. Someday I may get it too. Maybe you get it for both of us.

16. Muriel

I loved to watch Gidget with you in the afternoon. Choosing favorites among your grandkids. Never ever disagree or you will no longer be a welcome member of the family. Exiled forever. Alcoholism can only be hidden in a coffee mug.

15. The "other" T

Have you ever kissed someone with the same name as yours? A unique experience. He once said that he was addicted to me like I was some mind altering hallucinogenic. The first one’s free. All the cool kids are doing it!

14. Tammy Higgins

A true follower. Would do anything I wanted to. She thinks I taught her about life. If I taught her anything it was how to go through life without living. She never knew that it was I who was the follower.

13. Stella

Her real name is Sheila. Always worries what others think. Doubts herself too much. She is very intelligent, competent and has the most enormous heart of anyone I have ever met. She once ate a plaster flower thinking it was candy.

12. Joyce

The day I met Joyce she had her daughter stick her head into a gas oven to dry her newly styled hair. Brenda’s hair smelled of gas all night. That was a great prom though! Joyce healed people’s ailments with rocks.

11. PJ (Flip)

That Datsun had more primer then paint. Blue lights yelled. My head hit the windshield. That didn’t hurt as bad as that night at the mall when the door fell off! We played air Guitar in the basement to the Stones.

10. Billy

The day we met I borrowed $5. By some technicality never paid it back. All the jokes over all the years. My Best Friend. Should have been a comedian. He became “Navy Intelligence”. I almost killed him with a meatloaf once.

9. Terry aka Dad

Super powers galore. I always thought you were integrity. I never imagined you would disrespect me. Then one day, in a cold hospital room, I realized you were a human and not that indestructible cartoon I made up in my head.

8. Frank

Yours was the first naked body I touched. You never pushed me. Her name was the same as mine. My heart hurt as much as a 14 year olds can. I realized years later you really cared because you didn’t push.

7. Mary E.

A true tomboy. I often wondered if you were gay. When I left that grungy city for good you vanished off the face of the earth. Or did I? Building houses from blocks was one of my favorite things to do.

6. Griz

Harmless flirting to dangerous rendezvous. I loved you. You didn’t love me. We became best friends. You loved me. I didn’t love you. Your love is replaced with hurt. Mine is replaced with sadness. You learned true love when I left.

5. G

Our communication has become less and less, he is the one I love to talk when it counts. So levelheaded and nonjudgmental. Today we will meet in Albany. I will not blow that off to go to Arizona! I Love OTS!

4. Wild Bill

To you I will always be Bev. If the divorce were final I would have said yes. You touched my leg. I got in trouble with him for that, you didn’t. You are my “what if”. I really do love you.

3. Margorie

Curley red hair perfectly styled. Your life was perfect. Your family was right out of an old sitcom. Your friends were sincere. Except for me. You were too naïve. How I envied that. I’ll bet it is still a perfect life.

2. Mrs. Y...

Ain’t No Mountain High Enough playing in the background. Me playing with faceless barbies on your floor. You always made me feel secure and loved. You taught me never to pretend I was blind. I can no longer see your face.

1. Lori Tianny

It was at K.T. Murphy School. She was my best friend. I have pictures of her at my birthday party. She moved away and I never saw or heard from her again. I missed her a lot. I still miss her.