65. Red Cross Nurse #1
She said, “Sometimes you have to tell someone it’s alright. Otherwise, they hang on until they feel secure knowing you will survive”. I kept that information to myself for months. My mom passed away 4-hours after I shared it with her.
posted by B Kiddo | 3:08 PM
10 Comments:
The same with my grandfather. We told him it was okay, and off he went.
Something I've heard often, my dad was the same way. Bea I love the way you talk about your people. Wish you had've met me. (smile)
Thank you very much. That is the best compliment. I think this is the most honest writing I have ever done. No dictionary, no thesaurus - just, as Bryan Adams so eloquently put it, "Straight from the Heart". And there is still time to make each other's lists... ;-)
beatrix kiddo, I like what you said about "most honest writing" ... mine didn't start out that way, but somewhere along the line I crossed an invisible line, and now it would seem vulgar to shadow the truth with meaningless fluff.
love the way you capture her need for others to experience happiness ... almost like an addiction to "everything is okay" syndrome
sorry ... the prior comment was meant for Sara (#66) ... oops
about the "letting go" ... I've seen someone hang on much too long for fear that those left behind we not ready to deal with their absence, and I much prefer the scenario when someone is given assurance that it is okay to let go
however, that said, I've seen (and known personally) that it takes a tremendous amount of strength (and even more love) to be the one saying the words
what a beautiful gift, and what a precious moment to have shared
BB - Thank you on all counts. I don't know how strong I was during my mom's death but I do know that after she died I felt guilty for "letting go". Being the "eternal optimist" I felt like I had let her down by admitting she would not survive. However, I was able to come to terms with that and know that sharing my mom's death with her was one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever had. I learned more in her death then I did in my entire life. An experience I would never want to repeat but on that I value as one of my treasured moments.
the posts and comments are really beautiful and moving.
seems to me that letting go
was the most loving and therefore true thing you could have done, at the time, for her...and you were the only one who could, the only one who should, and so and as usual, you were the one who did, for her.
it also seems to me that sometimes, when we are lucky, true love, like some kind of poetic symmetry, is pefectly broken hearted...
for what it's worth, i've always felt a great peace, found a kind of confidence in a benign universe, in the fact that since it was going to happen, that it happened exactly the way it did, for her, and you
Thank you, I learned after a while the letting go was the loving thing. At the time, I believe, I was selfish enought to want her alive in any state. The words that nurse said haunted me for months. Until I said them outloud. The guilt subsided and I knew she and I were both where we needed to be when we needed to be there.
things take what they take
funny how the past and future seem to have mutiple possibilities, but what happens is always just one actuality, just as it is.
:-)
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